I HATE me without YOU.
Every time I lay my head on a pillow......I wonder if your comfortable
Every time night falls.....I worry that your alone
Every time my hands or feet get cold...... I wonder if yours are cold as well
Every time I eat...I worry that you may be hungry
Every time I'm in traffic, I can hear you saying "Benny, I swear...I think you speed-up when you see break lights".
Every time (not that often) that I sleep.....I worry that you may be tired and can't rest
Every time I smile (not that often either)..... I wonder if your smiling
Every time I look at my ring.....I think about your Pawn Shop ring....and it makes me laugh
Every time I cry..... I wonder if you cry with me
Every time Charlie looks at me.....I wonder if its you looking back
Every time I walk by a picture of you.....it sets me back a thousand years
Every time I think of "moving forward" I can't seem to do it because...........the best part of me was YOU
Every time I think of your Mom, Jam, and Clem....I HATE that you will not be able to see them as mothers, fathers and grandparents. And most of all...that it won't be US bringing that joy
Every time I look at my Mom and Dad.....I see hurt and a longing to have YOU back
Every time I look at my brother's and sister.....I see "a God" they worshiped and will continue to until the day they die
Every time I think of you....I KNOW in my heart that I was "privelaged" to have been your wife and best friend. My heart aches and I miss you so bad it truelly feels like my heart is slowly being ripped from my body!
Barrier,
I try every day to hold my head high and be proud of the years I had with you. I know everything about you, inside and out. I know all of your flaws and imperfections (which I found VERY attractive) and all your positive aspects (there's too many to count). I know that I am only 28 but I truly do not think I will EVER find someone as perfect as you. I know it sounds selfish, but who is going to love me like you did? You knew everything about me, the terrible and the good! And I loved the way you loved me. Like I always told you "You are Honey made-over". Every time I looked at you, I saw Honey starring back at me. Other than my Dad and my own Grandfathers, Honey was One-of-a-Kind and so were YOU.
I'm pissed off because I feel like you left me but I'm more pissed off that God stole you from me. But I do have faith and I know this to be true because everytime I think of you, I see you sitting next to Mamoo, Honey, Nell, Doo-Dah, MeMe, etc. So I obviously know in my heart that Heaven exist. I'm just really mad that your there and not here with me.
